You're Poison
by NightDreamer92
Summary: "I thought he would change, that somehow I would be that one special girl that changed his bad ways with my good ones. Instead, I was the one who got changed in the end, but changed for the worse." ItachixOC One-shot


"_I hear you calling and it's needles and pins_

_I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name_

_Don't wanna touch you but you're under my skin_

_I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison..."_

It's funny how your nice average life can be destroyed in under a week. How the friendly smiles can so easily turn into uneasy glances and disgusted glares. How all those wonderful friends seem to disappear right before your eyes and not even turn back as you call their names. How those once proud and kind parents now seem to ignore you or give you disapproving looks, making you feel guilty as you can see the betrayal deep in their stare. How you don't even recognize yourself and when you see the damage you've done and want to go back...it's too late. You're stuck.

All for one person: **Him**.

How could I have ever done this to myself, to my own life, just for the sake of him? He was bad for me, I knew that from the start, but somehow I still followed behind him like a lost puppy wanting a new home. I thought he would change, that somehow I would be that one special girl that changed his bad ways with my good ones. Instead, I was the one who got changed in the end, but changed for the worse. He's corrupted me, made me putty in his hands so that he could mold me into someone I don't know. Into someone I hate.

But no matter how much I hate what he's turned me into, no matter how much I loathe him for ruining my life...I can't let him go. He respected me when no one else would. He trained me to be stronger and stand up for myself for once. He showed me the cruel truth that everyone else tried to hide with their sweet lies. He showed me what love truly meant.

But he also showed me how dangerously close the line between love and obsession really was. How you could so easily get addicted and hooked onto that love, wanting more no matter how bad it is for you. And that's exactly what he is to me.

Itachi Uchiha is my drug.

I just couldn't get enough of him; I wanted to be with him all of the time. Everything he did just sucked me in deeper, dragging me until I couldn't climb myself out. His soft lips on mine as he kissed me so deeply, making me melt every time. His caresses as we were alone in the forest just tangled up together that I didn't even know whose leg was where. His pleasurable touches as he made me feel as if my mind might burst from the ecstasy that made my body spasm. And his sweet, sensual voice that never failed to send shivers down my spine and back up to my mind again.

Even now, there's half of my heart that wants to hate him and stop meeting him in private. To stop all of this, to deny his offer and hope to start a new life. A new life without his addicting cruelty.

But then the other half cringes in pain at even thinking of leaving him and shies away from such a repulsive idea. Only wanting to stay with him, accept the offer and start a new life with him. A life with him where I won't be the same cautious me, but a much stronger, risk-taking me.

So how could I ever decide? Either I leave him and try to get my old life back or I throw away everything, even myself, just to be with him. To most, the answer is obvious, but they don't know what he did to me, what he did that I have no choice, but to stay with him. For if I leave him, the poison he's put into my heart will surely be the death of me, as it slowly spreads and eats me alive from the inside out. But if I stay with him, the venom will only be in my heart, not spreading throughout my body. Only then will his venom not kill me, only then will I not feel pain and only then will he be mine forever.

I suppose that makes me sound selfish, but I don't care. I want to be his only love, his only hope to come back alive. I didn't want someone else to wait for him to come back from missions, just the thought makes my blood boil an agonizing white fire as it courses in my veins at every pulse. No. I wanted to be his and him to be only mine. Even if I had to hand over my soul to the devil himself.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I hear my younger sister hiss as she caught me packing in the middle of the night.

I didn't turn to her. "Packing."

Mai stares at me in disbelief at my nonchalant answer, but then she growls and yanks me toward her as she shakes my shoulders lightly. "Are you out of your freaking mind? How can you do this to us?"

I only stare at her with a blank expression on my face as I shrug her hands away from my shoulders. Didn't she see that I have to do this?

"Mai, you don't understand and neither does mom or dad. You guys will never understand."

"Then help me understand why you would throw your life away for this guy!"

The room got quiet as I stare at her with an expressionless look on my face, my eyes equally cold. I knew that no matter how many times I explained it to her, she would never understand. She's just a kid, no older than ten years old; she doesn't even like anyone yet. So how can she ever possibly understand what my heart feels when I'm with him? The answer is that she won't. Her childish mind would never comprehend half of what I feel. The confusion, the anger, the painful love, and the...agony my heart is going through.

"You're only ten Mai, no matter how many times I tell you-"

"Just shut up!" She interrupted me as she cries out, surprising me as crystal tears roll down her face. "Just shut up with the excuses already! I don't care if I don't understand, I just want to know why...," her voice cracked toward the end, making my own throat tighten.

"Because I love him."

The room got quiet again as she stares at me shocked; it was the best I could do to tell her why I'm leaving. Though the phrase seemed weak compared to how my heart feels. I stare at her and I'm a bit shocked to see understanding flicker in her eyes, though it's very small. But she didn't do anything, I could see the fight in her draining away slowly, knowing that she couldn't stop me.

I only lift my small backpack and head for my balcony, jumping on the railing, but before I jump down, I glance back at my little sister's tear stained face and smile sadly. She could only smile back equally sad and wave her hand weakly. I jump down before she could see my tears and land on the tree that was right next to my balcony. I hang on a branch before letting go and landing on my feet with a soft 'thud'. I only look back up and hold down a sob as my sister peeks down at me from the balcony's edge.

Before anything else happens that might stop me, I run into the thick forest as tears roll down my face. Me leaving my home behind didn't hit me until I saw my little sister's tears. I can already imagine her life, as I keep running, ignoring the cuts that formed on my arms and legs from the foliage. I see her pursuing her dream of moving from our small tourist village and going to Konoha to become a great ninja. Eventually she would become a jounin or Anbu and be assigned to assassinate her rogue sister.

I can imagine the shock, fear and sadness in her eyes as the Hokage gives her the mission. I could almost see her hurting when she's older because of my decision and it kills me inside to know I'm the cause of it. And it makes me think...is this really worth it all?

My feet slow down until I come to a complete stop somewhere in the forest, the village about a mile behind me now. My breathing is heavy and ragged as the tears roll down my face and cause a sting of pain as it went into the cuts. My heart is pumping so fast, I idly wonder if I'd get a heart attack. But I don't, I only fall on my knees as my legs fold under me.

I let the tears fall freely as I sob and cry, cursing him all the while, but then I stop. I feel rotten even speaking of him badly, but it was no use. He's both good and bad, constricting me with his power and love. But I guess that's all he is and will ever be to me: poison. I want to end it all and just plunge the metal into my heart, letting the blood flow out, along with my freedom. But I can't. I won't. My heart screeches in agony of the thought of never seeing him again. But my mind knows that if I stay with him, I'll never survive, I'll fall apart as the years go by; on the other hand, if I decide to stay here, I'll not only fall apart, but go insane.

My sobbing stops along with the tears as I realize I can never win, whatever I choose, I'll always lose.

I slowly rise to my feet as the answer dawns on me, making a small wry smile play on my lips. I don't care if my answer is stupid or overdramatic; I don't even care that if my sister were here she'd tell me there was another cure. I don't even care if she'd tell me I had gone insane and the truth is, I think I have. I only put his training into play and listen to silent night as I close my eyes, and soon a bleak grin comes to my lips.

I break out into a run as I head toward the distant sound of rushing water, pushing my legs harder and harder as I feel him nearby. My panting is the only thing I can hear, along with my heart pounding frantically in my ears knowing he'll catch up to me. I don't look behind me as I hear running footsteps a few yards behind me that are getting closer by each second. Just as I feel the panic run through me as I can almost feel his body heat, a grin comes to my face again as I see what I'm looking for. I push my legs faster and faster, feeling a crazy laugh about to erupt from my throat in victory.

Then without a second thought, I jump. I suppress a scream as I feel my body falling rapidly, the waterfall roaring next to my ears as adrenaline pumps through my veins. But all I could think about is...I'm free.

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He feels relief course through his body as he barely managed to grab hold of her hand, preventing her fall. He stares down at her as she looks around, then looks up at him, fear covering her features as she pants. It pained him to know that she's looking at him like that, what had happened? Just yesterday she was wrapped around him, complaining how he always had to leave. He had to force himself to leave the comfort of her arms and body pressed against his, but of course he never showed nor told her any of this. He had thought she knew, since he would always visit her, he had even offered her to go with him, to run away together and be free.

And she had agreed, they were going to leave today, but as he arrived at their usual meeting spot, she wasn't there. He looked around and waited for a minute until he felt her small amount of chakra getting farther and farther away. He had panicked and ran after her, quickly spotting her below as he jumped from the trees. He then had jumped down and chased after her, surprised she had even been able to out run him. But just as he was going to wrap his arms around her waist to stop her, she had done something he never thought she'd do: she jumped.

With pure instinct, he had leapt over the edge, keeping himself up as he grabbed hold of her hand, leaving them where they are now. With her looking at him with a mixture of sorrow, guilt, remorse, fear, anger and love. He can only stare into her eyes, feeling confused and angry. Why the hell would she try to kill herself? He'd done everything he could to make this girl who she strived to be; to make her stronger and independent; to make her see that those pitiful people she called friends were only using her; to make her see that her parents faked their pride for her, when in reality they only praised her younger sister.

He had even opened his heart, letting her know what he had done and how his own village had betrayed him. But what he didn't know was that while he felt his world start to make sense again as life mattered to him now, her world was slowly coming down.

"Let go of me! Let go!" She cries out as she tries her best to get away as she furiously wiggles around.

Itachi only feels his heart break slightly at her words, but his face remains stoic, though he isn't sure his eyes are the same. His chest tightens as he tries his best not to scream at her and lose his cool.

"Why are you doing this?"

She glares up at him, her hair framing her face as her eyes dance with an insane fire. "You're killing me!"

Itachi slightly recoils at her response, for an instant he almost believed she truly despised him, but his eyes soften as he sees tears welling up in her eyes, making her sneer seem more like a pouting face. He pulls her up slightly, grabbing her forearm with his other hand so that he could have a stronger grip on her. Her only response to this was a shrill cry as she manages to bring up her other hand and dig her nails into his skin. He doesn't wince as he sees small trails of his blood drip down his arm and onto hers.

"I don't understand," responds the fifteen year old.

The girl only grits her teeth as the tears pool over and drip down her face, joining the water from the cascade. "Nobody ever does."

Just as Itachi is about to question her cryptic answers, he quickly lets go of her as a kunai digs deep into the mountain of the waterfall, exactly where his arm was. He was too busy staring into her eyes, trying to decipher exactly why she was doing this that he didn't notice her reaching into her backpack. It was her last resort at making him let go of her, but it worked.

Itachi only stares in horror as her body falls and with his last resort he leans forward, outstretching his hand toward her, but his fingers only brushes against hers. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as he watched her keep falling, a small peaceful smile on her lips. His eyes widen as he thinks about jumping in after her and taking both of them to safety, but his resolve is broken as he watches her eyes close and that peaceful smile adorn her face. And it isn't until he sees her this way that he figures out that she was in pain, and he never did anything to stop it.

The Uchiha boy only watches in regret as his only love disappears as she hit's the bottom of the waterfall, knowing there is no way she survived that fall. Just as he stands up from the ground and stares at the water, he feels something in his hand, the one he had grabbed hers with. He opens his fist and feels his heart drop as he sees her necklace in it, the necklace she had found so precious to her. He only clasps the metal necklace around his neck, fitting him perfectly, knowing that this was her last gift to him showing that underneath it all, she really did love him.

With one last glance at the figure at the bottom of the waterfall, that was caught in a broken tree branch from her shirt as the rest of her body floated in the water, he turned around and vanished. Knowing that the little girl he had felt trailing them would soon see her body and report it, but not before accusing him of murder. He only lets a wry smirk come to his face at the bitter irony of it all.

"_...You're poison running through my veins_

_You're poison_

_I wanna break these chains"_


End file.
